Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Man Friend
Okay so I have had this guy that has been my friend for about a year now. Seeing him off and on. The past few months usually seeing him about once a week. I didn't really think it was anything too serious..Just a sex thing plus I was able to talk to him about stuff. Which was pretty awesome. Until recently...About 2 weeks ago he started coming by every day in the evening. To be honest I am not use to this. It was like bam! So I figured I should tell him that when my sons dad is in the City they hang out at my place and he usually stays for night with my son. They watch movies and play games or whatever. This dude asks if I am sleeping with my ex. Like you can't be serious....I am not a whore. I can't believe he even asked that. I have only been with him....got fucking knocked up....had to go have an abortion not even two weeks ago. I don't care what people say...an abortion is NOT easy. Its highly emotional. I feel so horrible. Worst person in the world but I couldn't afford to keep the baby. I can barely take care of myself and the son I already have. This being said.....I returned my man friends sunglasses to him yesterday....Every chance he got he said something mean to me...acting like I have been cheating on him or something. I had mentioned my back was sore so I wanted to walk. He told me I should get my sons dad to massage it. My sons dad would never in a million years touch me never mind massage me. I hate myself for weakness but i started crying. damn these hormones still pumping through my body. He then says to me "why are you crying? Quit bring drama into this. I was just joking. I thought you could take a joke. quite being a baby or your son is going to grow up to be a pussy" I cant help it that i am not a fucking cold hearted man with no feelings what so ever. There is nothing wrong with feeling. It was a new person I was seeing last night. Most likely it was his true self showing. Telling me its all about pussy. I know he was just saying this shit to hurt or burn me. After all these digs at me he wants to come to my place to watch a movie. I am like no way in freaking hell. Not after everything he said. I don't think I can even be friends with him anymore..Some things cant be taken back. The worst thing is I told him things...deep things I have never really told anyone before. I think this is why this whole things hurts so much. I felt like I had a connection with him. Only to find out that it was all one sided. Hell he was probably always laughing at me when I wasn't around. Making fun of me while with his buddies. Fuck I totally hate myself for being such a totally stupid freaking girl. I should so know better by now. I always seem to have to learn the hard way :(
Friday, April 27, 2012
The AssHat
okay...I don't "date" much . In fact they usually turn out to be only one dates because men seem to be such ass hats thinking just because they took you out for dinner your going to have sex with them. When did this become acceptable?? They totally expect it.....and for what?? Because you spent 20 dollars on a meal for me at Boston pizza and you expect I will be falling over panting wanting to bang it out all night....PLUH-EASE!!!! Where do they get this shit? These Men watch way to much fucking porn. If you want a girl that is going to be all porn star then you better get a hooker because no girl is going to put up with this kind of treatment for FREE!
Now to get to the reason I am writing this......
I met a guy a few weeks ago. Went out for supper and a few drinks. Talked a lot which was nice. I was thinking in my mind WOW that went well. After supper, he asked me if i wanted to go to the park for a walk. I was even more surprised about that. Maybe there is one or two romantic men out there. Who doesn't want to go for a walk in the park, holding hands, talking and laughing ....like you always see other "happy" couples doing and wish with all your might that you could have someone decent in your life that you can just relax and be yourself. I think it will be a cold day in hell before that happens for me. Anyways....It was a little bit chilly So I said ..."its getting cold I should get going. I had a really good time." He then offers that we talk in his car for a bit before i leave. I had a feeling this wasn't going to be all innocent like he was trying to act like it was. Sure enough....with in a matter of minutes had his hands all over me, telling me how beautiful I was and he wanted to go some place where we could be alone. He actually suggested a Motel...yuck!! I almost barfed in my mouth. I declined. Number one....I don't have sex on a first day. Like come on. Only hoes do that. I am not 18 anymore. I want more than just a one night stand. He then said "your making things difficult" in my mind "WTF" was ringing loud and clear. I took that moment to get out of the car and say good night.
I got a few text messages throughout the next week. He was all saying how he missed me and couldn't wait to see me again. So on Friday he asked me if we could spend some time together during the day. I told him no because i was working. However we could go out for dinner in the evening. He told me great. What can we do after dinner. I already knew he was hinting at going somewhere to have sex. I pretended I didn't know what he was getting at and suggested a movie or go shopping together. I didn't hear back from him. So after 3 and a half hours I told him that i was assuming that he no longer wanted to see me tonight and have a good night. Asshat got all mad and was throwing a fit like a little baby. 1. because i wasn't going to put out so that was why he didn't respond to me...2. whining and moaning that all he wanted was a girl to like and love him for who he is. HELLO......having sex on a first or second date is NOT love. Its lust, its sex, its just the crazy hornies getting the best of you. I don't know what in the hell he is smoking but I want his supplier so I can be high as hell too. But wait...i have a small child and have to be an adult. Not a raving little 16 year old in a 32 year old body.
After this experience, I am thinking...why the hell bother with the dating scene...its a total waste of time. They all just want to have sex. The worst part about it none of them dick wads wants to wear a condom. Totally disgusting if you ask me.
okay my rant is over. Obviously I don't think ALL men are disgusting asshat pigs but there are so many that are. My question is........when did this become acceptable behavior for men? Why do women put up with it? Or is it because I am a single mom that i am some kind of target for these shady men? All I want is a nice guy. That doesn't make my skin crawl. Is that really too much to ask? It would be really awesome if he had naturally tanned skin ;)
Now to get to the reason I am writing this......
I met a guy a few weeks ago. Went out for supper and a few drinks. Talked a lot which was nice. I was thinking in my mind WOW that went well. After supper, he asked me if i wanted to go to the park for a walk. I was even more surprised about that. Maybe there is one or two romantic men out there. Who doesn't want to go for a walk in the park, holding hands, talking and laughing ....like you always see other "happy" couples doing and wish with all your might that you could have someone decent in your life that you can just relax and be yourself. I think it will be a cold day in hell before that happens for me. Anyways....It was a little bit chilly So I said ..."its getting cold I should get going. I had a really good time." He then offers that we talk in his car for a bit before i leave. I had a feeling this wasn't going to be all innocent like he was trying to act like it was. Sure enough....with in a matter of minutes had his hands all over me, telling me how beautiful I was and he wanted to go some place where we could be alone. He actually suggested a Motel...yuck!! I almost barfed in my mouth. I declined. Number one....I don't have sex on a first day. Like come on. Only hoes do that. I am not 18 anymore. I want more than just a one night stand. He then said "your making things difficult" in my mind "WTF" was ringing loud and clear. I took that moment to get out of the car and say good night.
I got a few text messages throughout the next week. He was all saying how he missed me and couldn't wait to see me again. So on Friday he asked me if we could spend some time together during the day. I told him no because i was working. However we could go out for dinner in the evening. He told me great. What can we do after dinner. I already knew he was hinting at going somewhere to have sex. I pretended I didn't know what he was getting at and suggested a movie or go shopping together. I didn't hear back from him. So after 3 and a half hours I told him that i was assuming that he no longer wanted to see me tonight and have a good night. Asshat got all mad and was throwing a fit like a little baby. 1. because i wasn't going to put out so that was why he didn't respond to me...2. whining and moaning that all he wanted was a girl to like and love him for who he is. HELLO......having sex on a first or second date is NOT love. Its lust, its sex, its just the crazy hornies getting the best of you. I don't know what in the hell he is smoking but I want his supplier so I can be high as hell too. But wait...i have a small child and have to be an adult. Not a raving little 16 year old in a 32 year old body.
After this experience, I am thinking...why the hell bother with the dating scene...its a total waste of time. They all just want to have sex. The worst part about it none of them dick wads wants to wear a condom. Totally disgusting if you ask me.
okay my rant is over. Obviously I don't think ALL men are disgusting asshat pigs but there are so many that are. My question is........when did this become acceptable behavior for men? Why do women put up with it? Or is it because I am a single mom that i am some kind of target for these shady men? All I want is a nice guy. That doesn't make my skin crawl. Is that really too much to ask? It would be really awesome if he had naturally tanned skin ;)
Monday, April 9, 2012
Happy Easter!!
When I think of Easter I think of cute fuzzy bunnies, chocolate eggs, easter baskets and.....the family gatherings. For some people this is wonderful time to catch up with aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. For the rest of us...people like myself it can be uncomfortable. Kinda like getting your wisdom teeth pulled without the freezing the cute dentist gives you.
My easter family lunch started out fine. I was on my best behaviour. Which means no dirty jokes or drinking too much wine and table dancing with the fine china haha (they just gotta ruin my fun). I was poliet and all the jazz. Went fairly smoothly with the exception of why your son doesn't like perogies or turkey. Like duh...he's a fussy eater ...his idea of eating meat is having a pepperoni pizza.
Anways after lunch and dessert with coffee was over. I was pulled aside and told the whole family is very upset that my son is not baptized. They are all pretty much catholic. I am not. I was kind of taken back by this. No one has ever mentioned that they were so terribly upset. I was kind of put on the spot and then was commanded to get it done because after all everyone else is baptized and that my son will start to feel left out . Excuse me, but he is only six years old. Also I think getting baptized is a personal choice. I think when he is older and if he wants to he can be baptized. That is how it was for me . I think its not good to force this type of thing on children . Just my personal opinion. Just let him be a kid.
At least it was not the "when do you plan on getting married" speech. I think next year I will be away on Vacation during Easter and Christmas. Avoid the drama :D
My easter family lunch started out fine. I was on my best behaviour. Which means no dirty jokes or drinking too much wine and table dancing with the fine china haha (they just gotta ruin my fun). I was poliet and all the jazz. Went fairly smoothly with the exception of why your son doesn't like perogies or turkey. Like duh...he's a fussy eater ...his idea of eating meat is having a pepperoni pizza.
Anways after lunch and dessert with coffee was over. I was pulled aside and told the whole family is very upset that my son is not baptized. They are all pretty much catholic. I am not. I was kind of taken back by this. No one has ever mentioned that they were so terribly upset. I was kind of put on the spot and then was commanded to get it done because after all everyone else is baptized and that my son will start to feel left out . Excuse me, but he is only six years old. Also I think getting baptized is a personal choice. I think when he is older and if he wants to he can be baptized. That is how it was for me . I think its not good to force this type of thing on children . Just my personal opinion. Just let him be a kid.
At least it was not the "when do you plan on getting married" speech. I think next year I will be away on Vacation during Easter and Christmas. Avoid the drama :D
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